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England Expectorates

I don’t normally watch football matches. Being a devotee of the oval ball, the earnest pontifications of soccer pundits with their verbal clichés, and the overpaid, tattooed brats who play the game pass me by. To say nothing of the foul people who trot along to matches for the pleasure of yelling abuse without getting arrested…


The Lost Romantics

Resurrecting the second division 19th century composers. In his opening number, the eponymous Mikado in Gilbert & Sullivan’s operetta sings of the music-hall singer who attends a series of ‘masses and fugues and ’ops / By Bach, interwoven / With Spohr and Beethoven, / At classical Monday Pops.’ Yes, Ludwig (or Louis as he called…


THIS MONTH’S PARODY (June) If – Kipling

Every MONTH I shall be posting a different verse parody alongside the original poem, song lyric or nursery rhyme. There will also be the occasional limerick – which means there will occasionally be some words and content that some may find offensive. Be warned! I’m kicking off with one of the best loved poems in the…