IF YOU WERE THE ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD

Lyrics by Clifford Grey, music by Nat. D Ayer

The song was published in 1916 and introduced on 19 April 1916 at the premiere of the musical / revue The Bing Boys Are Here at the The Alhambra, Leicester Square. It was a duet sung by its two stars George Robey and Violet Loraine. Note: there is a verse to the song which I’ve omitted as there is no parody of this; also, the title is correct – as is the first line of the chorus, despite the discrepancy between the two.

I found the parody at the back of a book of Songs That Won the War (Daily Express Song Book No.3). Usually these parodies from the First World War are cynical and light-hearted, as in those sung in Oh! What A Lovely War. Not this one.

 

If I were the only girl in the world,

And you were the only boy

Nothing else would matter in the world today,

We could go on loving in the same old way.

A Garden of Eden just made for two,

With nothing to mar our joy;

I would say such wonderful things to you,

There would be such wonderful things to do,

If I were the only girl in the world

And you were the only boy.

 

 

IF YOU WERE THE ONLY BOCHE IN THE TRENCH

(Anon.)

If you were the only Boche in the trench

And I had the only bomb,

Nothing else would matter in the world that day,

I would blow you up into eternity.

Chamber of Horrors just made for two,

With nothing to spoil our fun;

There would be such a heap of things to do,

I should get your rifle and bayonet too,

If you were the only Boche in the trench

And I had the only gun.