THIS MONTH’S PARODY (Sept 15) Funiculi Funicula



Peppino Turco (Italian words), Luigi Denza (music). The song was written in 1880 to celebrate the first funicular railway up Mount Vesuvius. The English lyrics by Edward Oxenford were published under the title A Merry Life.

Some think the world is made for fun and frolic,
And so do I! And so do I!
Some think it well to be all melancholic,
To pine and sigh; to pine and sigh;
But I, I love to spend my time in singing,
Some joyous song, some joyous song,
To set the air with music bravely ringing
Is far from wrong! Is far from wrong!
Harken, harken, music sounds a-far!
Harken, harken, music sounds a-far!
Funiculì, funiculà, funiculì, funiculà!
Joy is everywhere, funiculì, funiculà!

Ah me! ’tis strange that some should take to sighing,
And like it well! And like it well!
For me, I have not thought it worth the trying,
So cannot tell! So cannot tell!
With laugh, with dance and song the day soon passes
Full soon is gone, full soon is gone,
For mirth was made for joyous lads and lasses
To call their own! To call their own!
Harken, harken, hark the soft guitar!
Harken, harken, hark the soft guitar!
Funiculì, funiculà, funiculì, funiculà!
Hark the soft guitar, funiculì, funiculà


Last night I contemplated masturbation –
It did me good. I knew it would.
Tonight I shall repeat the operation –
’Tis my desire to pull my wire.
First I gave it long strokes
And held it tight, with all my might.
Then I give it short strokes
From left to right, all through the night.
Smash it! Dash it! Bash it on the floor!
Smite it! Bite it! Ram it through the door!
Some people say that sexual intercourse is really rather grand,
But for personal satisfaction I would rather use my hand.

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